I never realized how long ago the Super Mario Brothers movie came out until I saw this picture of Bob Hoskins. Wow. A quick check over at IMDB says it was released in 1993. I guess it was just a part of my life that I had attempted to block out. Junior high school, first loves, and horrible films. Good thing we have Lindsay Lohan to carry the torch in 2007, because “I Know You Killed Me” gave me the same feeling I had the last time I watched Super Mario Brothers; like I had just consumed a massive amount of shrooms, and I ain’t talking about the kind that make you four feet taller.

Oh yes, I was brave enough to sit through Mario Brothers not once, but twice. Just a few years ago in fact. A friend of mine had never seen it before and rented it knowing that I was a big video gaming geek. This was the movie we were going to watch that night. It was a chick by the way, which just goes to show you how romantic my evenings can get sometimes. Nothing gets the old libido flowing like fat italian plumbers.

I tried to warn her before we watched the film but Super Mario Brothers is one of those movies you can’t accurately describe in words. It’s not a movie so much as it’s an experience. Bob Hoskins said in an interview he did for Guardian Unlimited in the UK that a married couple were directing the film as a team and were frankly difficult to get along with. Can’t really blame them, working on a project like that movie would’ve pissed me off a great deal too. It should be worth noting that Hoskins said Super Mario Brothers was the worst movie he ever did. Actually I’m not sure if that should be worth noting because it really should’ve been a given.

We did get through the viewing of the film that night. As I expected, I had forgotten pretty much everything about it due to what I can only determine to be the effects of post traumatic stress. I was older, so the emotional scars weren’t as severe the second time around.

Somewhere out there on the internet, there has to be a list of the top 10, 50, maybe even 100 films to watch while you’re high on something, and if Super Mario Brothers isn’t on one of those lists, then that list my friends is a fraud.