I am number one on Google for “howard stern having sex”. I am not proud.
I had a plan to take a look at Ned McDonald today, but I swear the internet is trying to screw with me because I can’t find any information on Google or even the commercial on Youtube that I know was there a few weeks ago.
You probably don’t know who Ned McDonald is offhand but I can almost guarantee you’ve seen him at some point in the past couple years. He’s the fat old guy working in a diner in a commercial for Select Quote term life insurance. It’s the commercial that starts off something like “Life for Ned McDonald, 49, is his wife Tess, his dog Spike, and his diner” or something along those lines. The whole commercial is a slide show of still shots of Ned in various emotional states as well as people around him. The gist of the storyline is Ned doesn’t bother thinking about life insurance until some relative dies, I think his brother in law, which causes Ned to rethink his stance and apply for some insurance after a chance encounter with a creepy looking diner patron.
I actually have a game I play when friends are around where we’ll insert our own dialog during each still shot, similar to that old game they’d play on the British version of Who’s Line Is It Anyway where they’d do their own lines for old movie scenes. You’ve got the happy-go-lucky shots of Ned in the beginning before his relative dies, then the Thoughtful Ned picture, then the Are You Shitting Me Ned picture, then the Damn I Just Made a Hot Deal Ned picture. Somewhere in the middle you’ve got an insert of this old diner patron that looks like he’s only giving Ned advice because he wants to get close enough to kill him with an ax at some point and sacrifice him to Lucifer in some unholy ritual.
Then there’s Ned’s wife. Now, I’m fairly certain the commercial says Ned is 49 which sounds about right from looking at him. Somewhere between 49-53 maybe. Tess however looks more like Ned’s daughter than Ned’s wife. She can’t be any older than 25. She looks exactly like a girl I used to date who I believe was 21 at the time. Either Ned is quite the pimp among the young ladies or Tess is looking to cash in on his lucrative diner business after he passes on. Maybe Tess is the one trying to talk Ned into life insurance in an attempt to profit from his death. Maybe Tess killed her brother to get Ned interested in the idea.
Tess is probably sleeping with the diner patron actually.
If someone can find the commercial on Youtube and send me the link I will give you CREDIT ON THE BLOG~! Excited? I thought not.
October 6th, 2007 at 12:33 pm
[…] I mentioned a couple days ago, I’m #1 on Google for howard stern having sex and I wonder if they simply forgot the K […]
October 6th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
I started googling those SelectQuote commercials, too. I wanted to see if “Ned” was real. He’s actually supposed to be 41! There are many baby-faced people in their 40’s these days. They say 40 is the new 30. This guy’s gotta be closer to 50-he may be older. My 62 year-old dad actually looks younger than Ned. And the wifey? You always see a hot wife w/a fug husband these days, so I’m not going to contest the validity of that part. She looks to be much younger than Ned, though-maybe no older than 37 or 38. “Their young son, Steve”-that kid is not named “Steve”, okay? Logan or Caden or Jaden, maybe. Not “Steve”, which seems more like some 70’s or 80’s kid’s name. Then at the end of the commercial, it shows that ridiculous prom picture. They totally have 70’s hairstyles and clothes. So, that would make them more like my mom’s age. She graduated in 1971. EXPLAIN, SelectQuote!
October 6th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
P.S. I like the idea of inserting your own lines into the commercials! HA! One could get pretty creative…
October 7th, 2008 at 5:53 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bV47RC5aal0 One of these is the Ned commercials on YouTube.
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:58 pm
I tried to look up “Lindy Lu’s Cafe ” to see if Ned is “real ” . My first thought is - What the hell happened to his face ? He got fugly from his teenage years to 41 . His nose looks like it’s been seriously damaged , he does bare some resemblance to the kid in the photo . The wife does NOT look like the girl in the prom photo . Why is this so intriguing ? I’m no fan of plastic surgery but I’m seriously thinking of taking up a collection so Ned can get his nose fixed . Look at his ” sons ” nose - no way is he the dad . But that’s a whole nother’ story !
October 22nd, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Just took another look at the commercial - there’s NO way the customer isn’t wanted somewhere . I’m positive he has numbers under his photo . The only Lindy Lu’s I can find is in Oklahoma ( which is totally believable ) but it’s not spelled the same . I now have $1.39 for Ned’s nose job …
October 22nd, 2008 at 5:44 pm
The guy in the photo who is supposed to be his brother in law living in Aspen Colorado in the late 80’s and 90’s. He was a entertainer. I don’t know if this is a stock photo or for real.