Ellen DeGeneres - Loses Dog & Sanity

Until now I didn’t even realize Ellen DeGeneres‘ talk show was still on the air. Didn’t she take over for Rosie O’Donnell or something? My apologies for not keeping up with the latest morning chick talk shows. DeGeneres appeared on her talk show today to talk about her dog and damn if I’m not already regretting not catching this show every morning for the past two or three years of my life because this sounds like a gripping exciting show. Ellen burst into tears recanting the tale of Iggy, a dog she adopted from a pet shelter. The dog it turns out didn’t like Ellen’s other canines, so she gave it to her hairdresser, no doubt as a present for those fantastic cuts she’s always sporting.

This is where the story gets weird, and I’m actually going to get serious here for a moment because this sounds like complete bullshit and I’ve never heard of such a thing in my life. The shelter DeGeneres got the dog from showed up on her doorstep demanding the dog be returned to them because Ellen broke a contract when she gave the dog to her friend. It’s illegal to give a dog to someone that wants it if you can’t take care of it? Surely this is some wacky ass rule this particular shelter has and not some general rule that all shelters use. What about all these messages and commercials you see all the time telling you to adopt a pet so it has a home and doesn’t have to die in a shelter or run free on the streets? Now that Bob Barker’s retired it’s all meaningless?

I should make fun of Ellen DeGeneres for making a spectacle of herself on TV but you know what? Screw it, the contract is flipping retarded and I’m sure she’ll probably get the dog back once the shelter starts getting bombasted with complaints about their utter stupidity. Other people can take the reigns and poke fun but I’m on her side this time.