From what I’ve picked up today, Paris Hilton was dating some pizza delivery guy that was kinda boring so she dumped him. This story should really give some hope to a lot of people because I mean come on the dude was a pizza delivery guy. That’s right above grocery store bagger. Alex Vaggo, the delivery guy in question, said that Hilton changed his life and he began modeling and going to clubs while dating her. Don’t forget the money either, probably the most important part of this whole equation. I actually thought she was with Kid Rock after I spotted the two in a picture where Rock appeared to be wearing a cloak containing the barely washed skins of about 20 dead animals. I’ve seen shirtless homeless people dressed better than that.

Paris commented she prefers bad boys which is odd for a girl that swore she was going to be a good will ambassador and turn her life around after her jail sentence. Then again no one believed that. I’m waiting for her to start catching up on Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. The train has felt incomplete as of late, like the caboose fell away from the rest of the cars.

Gossip Girls - Paris Ditches Pizza Guy, Gets Leggy