Why Do Drug Commercials Talk To People Like They’re Five Years Old?

This has bothered me for awhile: Drug commericials that use cute little objects to simulate various parts of your inner anatomy and play happy, quirky little music that you’d expect to hear on like Sesame Street or something. I think this latest commercial about some anti-smoking patch or drug or something was the final draw with me. You know the one, it’s got the stupid winking turtle and some rabbit with ADD that does nothing but run around in circles during the entire commercial. The narrator sounds like he should doing a voice over for a Little Mermaid sequel or something. The turtle looks like a complete smart ass and I find myself hoping the little shelled *$@#er stays stuck on cigarettes his entire life. The whole thing makes me want to defiantly smoke an entire pack, and I hate cigarettes with a passion. You can’t just tell someone about your drug in a normal manner and not talk to me like I’m an absolute idiot or a little kid playing with my firetruck on the floor?

Then there’s the one with the bouncing balloon meant to simulate your bladder, or the one from awhile back with the pipe people that constantly had to run to the bathroom because they had problems with their pipes. Hahaha get it? Their pipes are like your intestines and stuff.

So if any drug marketers are there happen to be reading this, is there any chance you could start making commercials that actually talk to adults? Some guy’s little kid who’s fascinated with pipe people and balloons that ride on buses isn’t going to be running to the drug store to pick up whatever little pills you’re shilling, it’s going to be their parents. Enough of the little blue bears and fairies, don’t dumb down our intelligence any more than it already it.