It’s Tuesday, which means MSNBC isn’t going to cover anything except politicians today. This would be fine because at least they’re not covering celebrities, but the politicians aren’t really doing anything. I guess there’s a democratic debate tonight and it’s time for Barack Obama to make a move otherwise he’s going to continue to be lost in Hillary Clinton’s shadow. He needs to do something crazy like grab her and kiss her. I’d vote for him, just because it’d be different. None of them are actually going to fix the country or anything so we might as well have fun with it.

MSNBC constantly calls these Tuesdays full of political coverage “Super Tuesday” which I thought was some cornball name Contessa Brewer might’ve come up with in the middle of getting her fingernails filed by the makeup lady, but it turns out it’s actually the name given to the day in early March when most states hold their primaries. I thought it sounded familiar. Why is MSNBC calling today and every Tuesday Super Tuesday though? Sort of cheapens the term, makes it less special. It’s false advertising too. I should sue MSNBC for misleading my dumb ass.

Who comes up with all these … terms anyway? Months ago I heard Chris Matthews going crazy about pork barrel spending and I had to laugh because he comes across like a kid in a candy store whenever he’s talking about politics. Pork is the stupidest word to ever be associated with politics, unless we’re talking about like Ted Kennedy or something. I have this joke with friends when we’re out spending money, and if one of us spends a lot of money we start going on about how much pork that guy just spent. You should see us when we’re in the meat section of a store and one of us actually buys pork. It’s a %#($ing riot I tell you.

That’s all. Just one of those strange things I’m thinking about at the moment. Sometimes I think of myself as the Andy Rooney of the internet, except I don’t look like I’m about to fall out of my chair at any second. Yet.