Thank goodness for internet websites, otherwise I might be forced to actually watch the Ellen DeGeneres Show for updates on what manner of strangeness is going on over there at any time during the week. Last week we were spared any Ellen dog updates, but viewers did catch this gem — a story about a couple of eight years old who have invented tear away underwear. No, we’re not talking about Chippendale attire, we’re talking about a wedgie safe guard. When a juvenile delinquent / future prison inmate attempts to give a wedgie to a hapless kid on the playground, the velcro undies tear in half, leaving a stupified bully and a celebrating young man.
Now I could be crazy, but I would think underwear with velcro down the middle of it would feel incredibly uncomfortable to wear, not to mention hurt like a mofo when someone grasps it from the back and forcefully lifts it and you up in the air causing it to rip open. I would think a normal wedgie would be more appealing than velcro chafing on one’s sensitive regions.
Dispatch: Bully Protection With a Price?
