The internet is dead today. At first, I figured everyone was drunk from the holidays or something but then I realized there’s not really anything going on in the world. There’s a video of a one second flash of Rihanna’s ass somewhere from a few years ago. There’s pictures of Mike Huckabee hunting a few days ago because there’s bozos in the world that’ll vote someone for president purely on the fact that they hunt. That’s pretty much it. People are still talking about Pamela Anderson’s divorce from Rick Salomon that lasted a whole eight seconds. So I’m forced to talk about Britney Spears. I’m sorry. But she’s apparently bonking the paparazzi now, literally. The other night was full of erratic behavior featuring Spears, getting in the cars of the paparazzi to change clothes, driving around without rhyme or reason, going house shopping at 8PM and yelled at the realitor from her car that she didn’t like the house, flirted with paparazzi on behalf of her friend, went to a gas station (of course), tried to throw up (that’s what I heard), made a U-turn at one point to get out of her car in the middle of the street and take a photo of the paparazzi, told said paparazzi to fuck off, slammed her camera into the hood of a photographer’s car before driving off, returned to the scene when she remembered she forgot her memory stick there, stopped in the street again to get into the car of a photographer named Adnan to yell at him for not picking up her calls, went to another gas station, wanted to party with Adnan but said her house wasn’t dirty so she went into the house and changed into a dirtier outfit consisting of ripped fishnets and a pink wig (sexy), and went to a hotel where they did it until they left at separate times in the morning.
I think I got everything there. Remember when I used to cover that kind of stuff all in separate posts?
The photographer is obviously screwing with her for the story, as he’s been moving in close to her for awhile now, showing her the way to various stores and gas stations in town. Spears oddly enough was chasing after a different photographer once before according to Page Six, asking him if he “enjoyed her”. Isn’t that what hookers usually ask before they get their money? Come to think of it, isn’t ripped fishnets and a pink wig something that wouldn’t look odd on a hooker? Maybe in a lower class part of town? Maybe it’s some weird role playing thing, or Spears is now mentally devaluing herself by sleeping with photographers in failed attempt to elevate her own lack of self esteem. I don’t even know if that makes sense, I’m still feeling the effects of the holidays. Probably doesn’t. Analyzing Britney is always fun though.
And who the hell goes shopping for houses at 8pm?
