It seems as though the holidays have yet to end for some slacker bloggers out there. Not us though, because the ramen’s running low, and Gal Val keeps bugging me about potatos, so I suppose I should save up and get her one for her birthday.
So out of the blue today I get a phone call from a friend of mine that says he’s got a scoop for me. He knows I run this here celebrity blog and he tells me that he’s friends with a guy out in California who knew Britney Spears or knows a guy that’s friends with Britney Spears or something. A friend of a friend deal. Anyway, he tells me that he knows the real reason why Britney shaved her head way back in February (I actually went to Britney Spears on Wikipedia to find the month out. PROFESSIONAL~!). Apparently, the story is that Britney had an incredibly bad case of head lice and just decided to remove all of her hair in a frustrated huff. Whether that’s true, who knows. I would figure the paparazzi would’ve immediately jumped in and caught pictures of any fallen lice on the floor and determined their sex and individual names in the lice language before they skittered away were this information factual. Wouldn’t really surprise me though.
You know what, I’m going to talk about Britney for a bit because I’m extremely bored and nothing else is going on.
I understood the attraction for her back in the day. When she was doing the innocent school girl thing and I was in my senior year of high school she was exploding throughout the hearts and raging hormones of male students everywhere, including my friends who couldn’t stop talking about her. I recall sitting down at lunch with these guys and them gushing over Britney. They were going so far as to buy her CDs and I couldn’t wrap my mind around that. Some of these guys were big football players you know? They found her attractive, so they bought her music to listen to her. Never understood the correlation between being smitten with someone’s appearance and then forcing yourself to listen to their shitty pop music because of the attraction. But I was big on rock and really old blues back then so maybe it was impossible for me.
In 2007 though, I don’t understand any attraction at all. Yeah yeah, I know, I hate it when forum posters or bloggers start talking about how awful looking celebrities are like they’ve got a harem of models banging down their door everyday. “Ohhhh I would never defile my hand on Kim Kardashian!” This is different though. This is Britney Spears in 2007.
Where’s this coming from you ask? I saw a post this morning talking about someone auctioning off an outfit worn by Spears and the tag line was “It still smells like Britney”. Appropriately, I happened to be drawing the vomiting Jack Page picture below at the time. What does that mean, smells like Britney? There’s just something … nasty about her now. Like you see her at a party and she’s got those fishnets with holes in them and a leopard print dress that looks like it’s been handed down from generation to generation with it’s last owner being a 75 year old chain smoking hooker. The hair probably does have stuff crawling around in it. Her expression is always stupid. Big eyes and a constant smile on a her face like she’s completely oblivious of the world around her, not unlike a baby when it’s passing gas. I can’t imagine her smelling like anything other than just the foulest of the foul.
Then again, the guy that sold that outfit is a few thousand dollars richer than I am right now, so what do I know?
December 27th, 2007 at 11:48 pm
Kim Kardashian isn’t too bright though. I could understand not wanting to lay your hands on her in that case. She might want to perform a poor quality sex tape with you too that’s so bad even the lowliest of perverts won’t download it.