I woke up this morning to find out that Benazir Bhutto was assassinated and immediately all of the presidential candidates began to chime in because dang nabbit this is a great opportunity to get us some votes! This whole day is making me hate the media. I watched Ann Curry interviewing Bhutto from some time ago and she’s doing her best to be a big bad hardnosed news reporter asking the tough questions while not letting Bhutto actually answer them until she’s suitably scared of the fucking hardcore might of the dangerous and bad ass Ann Curry. She even starts doing this weird squinting thing at one point to make herself look even more frightening and brutal. I’m shocked Bhutto even made it out of that interview.
Meanwhile, I have recorded the reactions of some of the presidential candidates here so you don’t have to go elsewhere. Yeah yeah, I’m all about convenience:
Hillary Clinton - “Well … it was a bad thing. I think. But I could be wrong, so don’t quote me yet. I’ll let you know in a few days after I’ve sat down and studied everyone’s else’s reaction, the media’s reaction, various poles, and I’ve done some calculations on graph paper.”
Rudy Giuliani - “You know, I ran into a similar problem on 9/11, which occurred on September 11th. If 9/11 haven’t happened, this whole incident probably could’ve been avoided but since 9/11 did happen, I lay the blame squarely at the feet of 9/11.”
John Edwards - “Did you know my dad worked in a mill?”
Mike Huckabee - “Just you hang on a second here and let me tell you about a bible verse this reminds me of. Just gotta find it here … hey, while you’re waiting, did you know I was a hunter? See, check out these pictures where I was out hunting the other day. That’s a big gun isn’t it?”
Mitt Romney - “I once marched with Benazir Bhutto you know. Way back in the summer of 1973…”
Fred Thompson - USuxxors.com actually tried to reach him in a Florida swamp but were unable to coax him out of the marshes. We did hear some fish like gargling sounds however, but we were unable to decipher his unique language.
December 27th, 2007 at 10:03 pm
You forgot Barack!
December 27th, 2007 at 11:32 pm
I saw (Hillary) Clinton’s response to this. Publicity stunt or not, she seemed like she didn’t know who the heck had died, but darn it she was praising the woman and how close they were.
December 27th, 2007 at 11:39 pm
“You forgot Barack!”
Nah, I actually couldn’t think of anything for him. Nothing about him really stands out that I can make fun of him for besides the fact that he goes “uh” all the time.
December 27th, 2007 at 11:40 pm
To Laura:
Heh, she wasn’t the only one either. I was struck today by how every candidate hung out and was best friends with this woman all the sudden. I half expected Romney to start talking about how they went to high school together at one point.