I’m not sure if this will even work. It seems as though they’re too far gone, beyond the realm of even understanding words and sentences. But the mayhem needs to stop, and as I feel I’m somewhat responsible for it, I’m going to do my best to put an end to it before it’s too late.

So says Ron Paul, who reached out to USuxxors.com and it’s 53 daily readers yesterday with a surprising phone call. The news has tried to blackout the insanity that has spread throughout the US in the past couple months; a slowly building infestation of zombified human beings that used to be Ron Paul supports, but are now mindless flesh eaters attacking and destroying everything in sight. It began during the New Hampshire riots, when supporters snapped after Ron Paul nearly lost the 31 vital, deal breaking votes he acquired in their primaries. Parts of New Hampshire now lie in ruin. Merrimack County is a wasteland, the only life left that of vultures picking clean the remains of whatever is left.

Ever since the epidemic has spread. Crazed supporters have appeared throughout the country, tearing apart anything in their path. Warped, distorted cries of “brains” and “Illuminati” escape from their lips as they rend their victims to shreds. All attempts to take them down have failed. They do not feel gunshots or other wounds unless they take a direct shot to the brain. Groups of vigilantes have formed posses in attempts to lower their numbers, but the packs have been too large. To make an already horrific story even more horrifying, the ones they kill rise again as the living dead. Now the rumors are that at least one crazed Ron Paul supporter has been spotted in Mexico, igniting fears that the epidemic is spreading to other parts of the world.

Presidential candidate Ron Paul hopes to somehow calm his followers before any more damage is done:

I’m not sure if any of you still understand me but please, stop what you’re doing. Cease the violence and the disillusion. I have 46 delegates. Sweet Mary & Joseph open your EYES. It’s over! We can fight for the Constitution another day. At this point you’re dragging the movement down. You’re staining the name of the Ron Paul Revolution! Please, I beg of you to end this insanity immediately.

USuxxors.com agreed to print Ron Paul’s message as he offered to send us cake and the fact is, we’re poorer than Mike Huckabee. We have yet to endorse a presidential candidate, so USuxxors.com does not claim to stand behind Ron Paul’s statement, nor do we stand against it.