Hollywood Gossip and Political Hoopla

I’ve got MSNBC on right now. Hardball is on with Chris Matthews, Pat Buchanan and KD Lang and the three are screaming bloody murder about something. What? I dunno. I think it’s illegal immigration but they’re all yelling over each other. It’s been going on for five minutes. I’m sure the aim of the show isn’t to make me wish I had been born deaf but I’ll be damned in they’re not seriously making me consider putting a pencil eraser in my ear just like my momma told me not to do when I was a little boy.

I caught more Lou Dobbs last week and have done a 180 after being greatly amused by him the first time around. He’s quite an arrogant guy, arrogant to the point where I feel like I’m sitting there watching him strut around in some kind of solo homemade sex tape telling me how huge his wee wee is. Everything from his smile as he unapologetically shills his book to that twinkle in his eye when he starts talking about how the world wants him to run as an independent but he just loves his job too much to do it. Just couldn’t take it anymore, and I ended up turning him off before he got to the money shot.

My late after viewing habits are going to change starting tomorrow. No more Hardball or any other of this new talk show BS. I won’t even have to see the first five minutes of the ever expanding Tucker Carlson before my lazy ass realizes it’s time to change the channel. I’m sending myself to television rehab and moving on. Today’s all about changes.

So after ranting about the absurdity of 24 hour news a few days ago, what’s the news of the day today?

MSNBC, I swear to Christ, Buddha, Allah, or whoever else you believe in, is on their THIRD DAY of coverage of this 9/11 pin issue. This is going to make and break the coming election guys, at least you would think so given the time that’s being devoted to the story. The election is riding on a pin that you put on your lapel. This is far more important than health care reform, education, foreign policy, war stance, abortion, taxes and all that other bullshit. Wearing a pin is going to make or break this election.

Actually I’m wrong, because there’s another issue just as pressing that the news networks are starting to shed some light on. There’s been some rumbling about this for the past couple weeks but today, I knew it was going to hit the fan when one station did a montage of Hillary Clinton’s laugh.

Yes, her laugh. We got a news story about Hillary Clinton’s laugh and how it could affect hers and everyone else’s bid for President of the United States. Dubbed “The Cackle” by MSNBC, Clinton’s laugh is apparently some sort of vocal weapon of mass destruction that has the capability to destroy the other presidential candidates, but only if Clinton uses her powers wisely. Otherwise, she might destroy herself. You know, kinda like Spiderman or something. Chris Matthews on Hardball a number of days ago talked about Clinton’s laugh in a near state of bliss while comparing it to his own strange duck like laugh he calls “The Hoot”.

… yeah. This is reality. This is the world we all live in. A world where Hillary Clinton’s laugh is looked at as a possible factor in who becomes leader of this country. People’s votes might actually be swayed on her Cackle. Lives, ladies and gentleman, may be altered forever based on Clinton’s effective use of her laugh. Possibly even more so they could be by Barack Obama’s lack of pins to wear on his suit.

U Suxxors analysis? Don’t listen to 24 hour news for political coverage. For that matter, don’t listen to Hillary Clinton speeches at all because if she laughs and shifts her vocal cords slightly by accident, you’re #$%!ing #$#!ed friend.