Hollywood Gossip and Political Hoopla

Britney Spears has to show up in court today. It’s like, a necessity if she wants to get her kids back. If she doesn’t, she’s not getting them back. To make it even more interesting, the county sheriff says he won’t be providing her any help whatsoever in terms of getting inside the building because she’s been such a huge pain in the ass before, refusing to listen to his instructions. At some point over the weekend, she was heard loudly screaming obscenities in a British accent while her photographer boyfriend / new assistant Adnan Ghalib was busy pushing former paparazzi pals out of their way.

Today’s going to be very interesting. I may not even have to juggle around some facts to make it perversely entertaining even.

Britney Spears nude pictures are up for grabs to whoever wants to lay a bid down on them, but no one’s biting. In fact, they’ve barricaded themselves inside their offices behind boarded up windows and doors held tightly in place by nails.

“Keep those things away from me!” one gentleman was heard exclaiming while shut inside an undisclosed press office this morning.

The photos are believed to have been taken by Spears’ paparazzi boyfriend Adnan Ghalib, who did exactly as everyone expected he would and snapped as many provocative photos of Spears as he could during his time with her. Instead of breaking up with Ghalib, Spears has since run away with him to Mexico.

What strikes potential buyers is the lack of anything worthwhile in these pictures. We were able to reach one Mike Harris, a reporter for People magazine who was hiding under his desk bearing a wooden cross when we arrived.

“Adnan is a really bad photographer. The pictures are grainy and there’s a lot of blur. But what you could see … what you … oh God …”

The word now is that Adnan did manage to sell the pictures to an Australian news agency for $53,000 after sticking them secretly inside a big juicy steak.