Hollywood Gossip and Political Hoopla

WTF Is Fergalicious?

Posted By: Jack Page on Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008

Fergie Pees FergaliciousI’m not a huge Black Eyed Peas fan. Sorry. They had a couple songs that were played ad nauseum on TV over the years and I couldn’t avoid them. It might’ve been the start of my mental unbalancing come to think of it, the trigger that’s led me to stoop so low as to run a blog where I draw stick figures and spend 80% of the time talking about flipping celebrities. I should sue, but I probably wouldn’t win, because the legal system is utterly useless like that.

Regardless, Fergie’s I guess split with them because she seems to have a solo career now. Maybe that’s why she peed herself on stage that one time. The fear of going off on her own frightened her to the point where she lost control of her bladder. Hey, it happens to people Fergie. Normally when they’re younger than five or so and they’re having nightmares about boogeymen or green hairy, comically unattractive trolls under their bed. But it happens to people. You’re probably tired of people bringing up that time you wet yourself on stage by now though so I’ll just move on.

I have no idea what the term “Fergalicious” means. I guess it’s supposed to sound sexy but instead it ends up sounding like that feeling you get when you have a hunger for a mold covered hamburger that’s doubling as a mushroom garden. I’ve never had this desire so maybe I’m not the foremost of experts, but that’s what it sounds like. Certainly, it’s not something I’d say as a compliment to someone. I’d probably get punched. “Hey baby, you’re looking pretty Fergalicious this evening.” “WTF did you call me asshole???”

Regardless, Fergie no longer considers herself Fergalicious apparently because she’s dropping it from her vocabulary, which is probably a good thing. Problem is, she wants to come up with a new word for 2008. Hopefully it’s not something like Fergarumptious. In fact, lets just dump the Ferga part all together and go with … Depends? Heh heh, sorry, couldn’t resist. I kid, I kid.


Fergie In a Short Red Dress Fails To Set World On Fire

Posted By: Gal Val on Tuesday, December 11th, 2007

Fergie DressI came in to do work today and Jack is still laying in bed muttering something about Kelly Clarkson. He better have worked last night, lazy ass. And his sheets don’t match his pillow case. Pisses me off.

FERGIE! Normally doesn’t make me dance around rainbows or anything like that. I just really like her name. It’s like a character from Fraggle Rock or something. There’s something to be said about the enjoyment of randomly screaming it at people too, because they’ll look at you like “did she just call me Fergie?”. It’s almost sounds like a cute insult or something. But I’m just wacky!

Here she is snapped by our own personal U Suxxors paparazzi photographer in a red dress on stage somewhere. The Unknown Photographer didn’t tell me where. He just throws envelops of pictures into the office window attached to a ninja star without a word. Very mysterious guy.

Fergie has this habit of dressing up too much. It doesn’t work for her at all, and I’m not going to be one of those mean people that rip on her looks because she’s far from terrible looking. Classy red dresses just don’t suit her. She should always dress more street-wise. Fashionable jeans, maybe by a designer like Fibonacci who I’m TOTALLY in love with right now. A short top that shows off her tummy. Stuff like that. Be more rebellious. A mix of hip hop style with a hint of punk would be sooo perfect for her. I’m literally squeeing at the thought!