As I continue on in my bitchfest today, TMZ posts up a video advertising Paris Hilton grinding on a stripper pole and for some reason I decided to check it out. I know what you’re thinking and no, my only motivation was seeing if anything notable happened. It didn’t. In fact I’ll state on record that Paris Hilton might be the shittiest faux stripper I’ve ever seen and I much preferred the Paris that was wandering around Africa helping drunk elephants. If she’s going to keep this up she needs to buy that Carmen Electra pole dancing DVD.
I also want to express my sheer dislike for the person that writes the updates over at TMZ. Can you throw in some more celebrity catchphrases or talk like any more of a dofus than you already do? Yes, you’re a celebrity website and the people that read your site are doing so because they want to catch up on daily celebrity happenings. That doesn’t mean they want to read you pretend to be Paris or Britney as you throw in multiple whatevs and y’alls. It’s like reading some Hollywood high school cheerleader’s diary or something. I swear for the last week that site’s made me 20% stupider than I already am.
Now I’ve heard two different versions of this story. The more innocent one I’ve heard once and is more amusing to me than the version I’m hearing about the most. A mother in Nashville wanted to do something special for her son’s birthday at school. Something surprising. What happened was a a stripper showed up in the 16 year old’s drama class where she proceeded to dance and force the naughty boy on the floor so she could lash him 16 times with her whip. She then stripped down to her bra and panties, pulled out some whipped cream and told the kid to rub it all over her ass. At that point the teacher stepped in.
