Hollywood Gossip and Political Hoopla

TMZ’s already pissed me off twice today, not only because of the Britney thing but also because of this hateful little gem they posted about Sheryl Crow and the Two Who Shall Not Be Named. I would’ve personally donated to Sheryl Crow’s defense fund if she had just beat the shit out of the moron with a baseball bat. Why the f*** would you ask someone that? Why would you ask someone about a guy’s daughter and the guy’s current girlfriend when they haven’t dated in well over a year?

She should’ve run over his foot. Both of them. Did TMZ’s writers join the picket lines or something? That’s the only explanation I can come up with.

As I continue on in my bitchfest today, TMZ posts up a video advertising Paris Hilton grinding on a stripper pole and for some reason I decided to check it out. I know what you’re thinking and no, my only motivation was seeing if anything notable happened. It didn’t. In fact I’ll state on record that Paris Hilton might be the shittiest faux stripper I’ve ever seen and I much preferred the Paris that was wandering around Africa helping drunk elephants. If she’s going to keep this up she needs to buy that Carmen Electra pole dancing DVD.

I also want to express my sheer dislike for the person that writes the updates over at TMZ. Can you throw in some more celebrity catchphrases or talk like any more of a dofus than you already do? Yes, you’re a celebrity website and the people that read your site are doing so because they want to catch up on daily celebrity happenings. That doesn’t mean they want to read you pretend to be Paris or Britney as you throw in multiple whatevs and y’alls. It’s like reading some Hollywood high school cheerleader’s diary or something. I swear for the last week that site’s made me 20% stupider than I already am.

TMZ - Paris Fails At Pole Dancing